Please assure me that I am not alone here because I am on the verge of pulling all my hair out.
This is my Aubrey.
My precious first born.
Proud big sis.
Miss Independent. (As long as that does not involve sleeping in her own room.)
Lover of all animals. (Slimy or hairy, it does not matter to her.)
Social butterfly. (She gets this from her dad.)
Strong and stubborn like a bull. (Her dad says she gets this from me. Me?)
Sweet spirit.
Full of energy.
Wise beyond her years.
Playful.
Lovable.
Hugable.
And witty too.
Oh, and one more thing,
Ears that hear my voice but a mind that does not listen to what it says.
I know she hears me because she repeats word for word things I have said. For instance, me yelling at one of the dogs: "Knock it off!" Or the time she was putting her stuffed elephant Dumbo to bed: "Lay down! Close your eyes! Go to sleep! Are you listening to me?!" (Note: This is after a very lengthy goofing off session well after bed time.)
I love this little girl with every ounce of my being.
But sometimes I can't help but get frustrated! What's a mom to do when she is being tuned out?
She gets warnings. She goes to Time Out. We have talks. Sometimes she gets an early bedtime or a privilege taken away. And of course lots of praise for the times she does listen and mind.
It seems that none of this has made enough of an impact on her though.
I don't think it's unreasonable of me to expect my kids to acknowledge me when I talk to them and mind what I say. I mostly worry that they could get themselves hurt by doing something dangerous if they don't listen.
So what special techniques do you use with your own kids that works?
5 comments:
She is definately at the age where it seems as though kids DO NOT listen to anything. I'm going through it (and for quite a while) with my 3yr old. The things I do are...I make him look at me when I'm talking to him, sometimes I'll have him repeat what I said so I know he heard me., To get him to do things, I have to make it a contest and count to a certain # and tell him to try to beat me.
Good Luck!.....It doesn't get better until they turn 4....at that point you can negotiate.
Oh, I remember when I said the same thing about Sierra...oh yeah, that was last week. Okay, by 12 they are M-U-C-H better, but at that age she was the same way. Rather than say difficult, I would always say,
"She clearly has great leadership ability."
Right? How great is it that I child will be strong and do what SHE wants no matter what anybody else wants her to do. And to use the same strategies as her parents (okay, watch out for this one). So instead of trying to CHANGE the behavior, just try to harness it's great power to do GOOD...
By the way, I'm not sure that it's a first born thing either. I've got a few more the same way. Especially Mr. Hayden who'll be 5 in May, who very well may be the death of me.
I just remember their ages. Not to sound like a know it all, but we forget how a 18 month, a 3 year old and 9 year old and all the ages in between think and act developmentally. I don't change what I do with them, I just recognize that each phase of childhood has some great and frustrating and confusing aspects to their behavior. Aubrey seems very normal and spot on:) for her age:) . So fun, isn't it.? When I think about that then I don't take it so personally.
"Hey it's you, not me!"
It's definitely an age thing and you are not alone! Just remember to be consistent, even when you really don't feel like it. I agree with making her look at you, she can't really tune you out then right? When it gets too heated, just try laughing and making a game of it (every now and then, you want them to take you seriously still). Choose your battles and remember it's just a phase! :)
I found you on Susie's blog! I wish I could tell you some things that work, but I haven't yet found them, I think kids are just coming out more strong-willed from the get go. Your kids are adorable.
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