I am admitting that with a little bit of hesitation.
When A was about 1 and had a much more predictable schedule I decided to introduce a "routine" into our lives. I had read and heard about how much easier life would be with one. Supposedly your kids are happier and less resistant to each thing that happens throughout the day because they do it everyday and they sort of begin to expect it.
Really? OK, I'm sold if that means no more screaming fits when we try to settle down at nap time and bed time. So off to the computer I went to type out our "routine" after a few days of observing what was happening throughout our days.
Our "routine" went something like this:
6:30-7am Out of bed, brush teeth, breakfast & dress for the day
Morning cartoons & Play
Snack
11:30am Lunch
12:30pm Nap
Snack after nap
Play
5:30pm Dinner
6:30pm Bath time & brush teeth
7:30pm Story time in bed
8pm Lights out for sleep
Of course this was a flexible schedule that depended on activities we had outside of the house.
So I printed this out and posted it in a few places throughout our house. My thinking was that it would keep Mr. and I on the same page as well as anyone else that was caring for our child.
What I did not expect was to be teased and laughed at by people (I won't mention names here) who came into our home and saw our "routine" posted up. Yea, I was a little annoyed by this. I eventually tore it down thinking I was totally lame to even put it up in the first place.
Out of sight, out of mind. Yup, that's what happened.
Within days we were back into our old ways of whatever, whenever. And then soon after this I was pregnant and sick. So then it was even more of the whatever, whenever. Lil' J arrived and, again, any tid bit of a "routine" we may have had left was out the window. Totally gone! Bu-bye!
And yes the nap time and bed time crying is sometimes still an issue. But A has more activities now that she is involved in that fill her day and wear her out. So when she's tired ready for a nap or bed, a lot of times she will tell me.
Is it really that bad to just go with the flow and let the day play itself out? Sometimes I feel like we have nothing but chaos going on with no definite time for being up in the morning, taking naps and going to bed. But on the other hand it's convenient for Jeff and I to do what we want when we want. I think I'm starting to sound selfish here!
Are we going to pay for the lack of structure in our home? Or do you think to each their own is appropriate?
I'm curious to know what REALLY happens behind closed doors in others homes. Sometimes I feel like people tell me they do things a certain way and have total control all the time because it makes them feel like a better parent or something. I can't really be that far off course, can I?
8 comments:
Leslie,
I am totally a routine person. I have schedules like that for everything and often get teased about it. The truth: I don't care what anyone else thinks. I think it came from having twins as my initiation into motherhood. I would not have survived without a routine. The most important part of our routine: without a doubt bedtime! Tanner & Hannah are now 7 and Jack is 4 and to this day they all go to bed at 7pm and wake up between 6:30 & 7:00am. That said, not everyone is a "routine person" I think you have to do whatever works best for you & your family. All I can say is that it's 7:53 right now and my kids are asleep. Not just in bed, but fast asleep. What a luxury to know that the rest of my evening belongs exclusively to me & my hubby! :)
Hahaha. Funny. You know I don't think I am much of a routine person. Are you surprised? But we kind of have a crazy schedule and travel a lot. I guess somewhere in there I try to do things somewhat around the same time.... Does that count.
All I've learned is kids don't break, if the threat is bad enough they will listen and I can scream way louder than them. And I am bigger:)
Kidding. For some reason Jake and Aubrey strike me as two really happy little kids and you and Jeff are pretty nice yourselves. I certainly enjoy your company. So whatever you've got going on is working.
And yes, women do lie. Wait until Aubrey gets to kindergarten. You can spot those moms a mile away. In all their high falutin' chatter about how wonderful they are you know they really fed their kids fruit loops that morning and screamed at them all morning to get their butts moving or else..
Like I did.
I wasn't laughing at Gill, your post. It was funny. It made me laugh.
At least you're on the same page. My hubster is connected to his franklin planner at the hip. And he's been smacked on numerous occasions for the "maybe if you had a schedule/time management system/blah blah blah" comments. Schedules make me feel like I'm suffocating. Like I can't be spontaneous because that's supposed to be at 11:43, not now. So instead I have goals for the day...a long list that if I only get two things crossed off I feel like I've accomplished something.
Bedtime is really the only thing that we have a time/routine for...but now that it's summer....
Well I have no suggestions because I have no little ones. But I love the new background! :)
I have to admit that I am a routine sort of a mom. Our routine is always changing and I have to be flexible, so i mostly rely on a list for the week and then a list for each day. My kids are happier though when they know what to expect in our days and not every day is completely different. Certain things work better during certain times of the day. Sometimes it's just as simple as that. I've tried it both ways - routine vs. no routine and I have learned that I get much more accomplished during the day (peacefully) and my kids are happier and more content when we have a routine. But I agree with Gill, you have to do what works for you and your family and once you find that just stick with it...no matter what anyone says. I also agree with Susie...moms are liars and I happen to think that you can still be a good mom while feeding your kids sugary cereal in the morning and screaming every now and then. (I am guilty of that) We are human and just do the best we can! :)
I so would not have teased you about posting your "routine". Forget what other people think and type up a new one and put it back up! I think life is much easier with a routine, you can still have it flexible and tailored for you and your family, but it really does help. I have to confess that once school is out I throw the routine out the window and stay in bed until my kids whine about being hungry. Eventually we get into a new routine and things are better though, anyway, good luck!
I agree that you need to do what works for your family. We actually have several "routines" around our house depending on the seasons. There is the school routine, summer routine, baseball season routine, the work routine, etc. Don't put pressure on yourself to conform to what the books or others say you should be doing as a parent. You will find your own routines will change as your family changes and grows.
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